This. Is. It.
The last time.
The last time I spent a secret moment you. I felt a little scandalous taking this - you would have laughed. Now I'm glad I did. Pictures of us? There were few over the last 6 years. But. I have this.
You had the most amazing sense of humor. The most generous spirit. The most wide-open, loving heart. You loved everyone. And we're so talented. This is the last time I whispered to you. Told you how much I loved you. Begged that you would miraculously open your eyes and heal, while at the same time telling you how I understood why you had to go.
This moment is one of my most cherished
memories. All at the same time.
A Contradiction, at its finest.
I can't believe it's been 365 days since you were with us, laughing, singing, impersonating some goofy person or another.
I think of all the things I'll miss about watching you come into your own: celebrations, births, love. Children who will never come to be, laughs never laughed, tears never cried. I think of it all, the if-only's, the what-if's. My word! How I would change things if I could.
I feel you with me, and want more... always more. I wish I had soaked up more... moments together, laughs, YOU.
Watching your light slowly burn out 365 days ago was both the greatest heartbreak and PRIVILEGE... all at the same time.
Love you, sister... miss you.
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