I never realized how much of a perfectionist i am about school. Like honestly the shit I worry about when it comes to grades isn't going to make me happy. I know its important to have decent grades so you have opportunities in life and careers. But you can not be knowledgeable about everything and you don't need 100% grades in a class to understand what you've learned. I dislike the idea that intelligence has anything to do with grades, knowledge, or GPA. I have a gpa of 3.95. Everyone tells me i'm smart, but like a high GPA doesn't mean fucking shit to me anymore. I know it will be important when I focus on college but the difference between getting 100% in a class and 80% shouldn't matter to me so much. It means shit to the educational system. I know many people would love to have to education I have and grades i have but i hate living my life so much for the future. I hate how hard i get on myself based on my expectations and privileges, I know i'm going to college but honestly thats not my priority right now. I want to experience life and i hope that i make mistakes and take the wrong path because that means more to me than spending my entire life focusing on A+. This is an ironically ignorant statement and honestly I know school is so important but all i'm trying to say is that time gives plenty of opportunities to life a full life. I'm done spending 100% of my time and stress on school. I know my GPA is probably going to go down drastically this year because its the hardest school semester of my life. But honestly thats ok. I will learn from this and i will find what's important to me. Most of this stress is the stress I put on myself so honestly fuck that mindset. This shit is too draining and i'm focusing more on my academic future than my physical and psychological health. I'm glad that school isn't super difficult for me and i will never take that for granted but i hope people always put their mental health first because over the past few years i been stressing way too much and missing out on enjoying the moment. Life is short so make mistakes and make life your own.